Things I did yesterday that make my think I’m not ready to be a father:
- It took me three tries to put my shirt on in the correct orientation.
- Every time my baby throws up, I think, “Sorry for party-rockin’.”
- I was watching a bunch of birds in my front yard and imagining them as tiny dinosaurs (better than Jurassic Park 3). I went to do my impression of them for my wife, and almost knocked over a glass.
- After doing that, I wanted to watch Jurassic Park 3.
- While my baby was sleeping, I moved her arms around like she was doing tai chi.