Just get over it, already.

Working in a bookstore, I’ve noticed a trend. Humorous books about cats are always followed by a version for dog lovers, and they’re never as funny. The most recent example came from the Oatmeal with his two most recent books, How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You, and, My Dog: The Paradox. HTTIYCIPTKIL is much funnier (and more substantial) than MD:TP and even spent longer on the bestseller list.

With this revelation, I began compiling my own research. I have some photos of my cat and dogs in similar situations which definitively prove that cats are funnier than dogs.

 

Test 1: Laser Eyes

So this is my dachshund, Guinness, really giving some quality laser eyes. Equally bright, different colors, and with her puppy about to jump on her, there’s plenty of drama here. The problem is that the only humor comes from the fact that her eyes are lasering, which isn’t inherently funny.
   

Smilodon, on the other hand, is really bringing it. His single glowing eye, protruding teeth, and tuxedo make him look like a fuzzy little Bond villain. Funny. Sure, I put the bow tie on him, but you can tell he wanted one.

 

 Test 2: Party Rocking

Guinness looks kinda cute here, right? Sure, she passed out on the couch, but her hair is still done up and she looks ready for a good hangover breakfast. But wait, look at that pillow. What the hell is all over it? Knowing her party girl tendencies, it’s probably equal parts tequila, group singing at karaoke bars, and bathroom selfies. Either way, we don’t have that pillow anymore.

Smiles Davis, on the other hand, looks like hell. He’s climbing in through the window of his own house, glassy eyed and missing an ear. Was he at a party? Maybe. Was he invited? Probably not. Did he wake up in a ditch? Definitely.

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